Mentoring is a developmental partnership (formal or informal) through which one person (the mentor) shares knowledge, experience, skills, information and perspective (and definitely wisdom) to foster the personal and/or professional growth of another person (the mentee). I call the process a reality check. All people, irrespective of their standing in life, qualification or position need a mentor. The key question is: “How do you choose them?”
From the above definition it is evident that a key ingredient for a successful mentor is EXPERIENCE (which will provide knowledge, skills, information and perspective). Although it is possible to gain experience over a short period of time, it takes time to really gain the insight that is required to be a great mentor, that can offer real value to the mentee. (Please refer to one of my previous posts regarding 20 year’s experience or 1 year’s experience repeated 20 times)
So what are the criteria to use when choosing your mentor? Your mentor must have life experience. Life experience includes going through hardship, loosing a loved one, going through a crisis or trauma. A person only grows when things go wrong, not when everything is going exactly as planned. What is generally known as having the t-shirt. You cannot really speak to a person about death, divorce or retrenchment if you haven’t gone through it yourself. Textbook knowledge is not enough, it does not provide real empathy and insight.
Business experience is another key ingredient. I would much rather be mentored by someone that has a variety of experience, gained from a number of jobs at different companies, even different industries. My advice is to steer clear of the bright 30 year old, hotshot, smart-Alec who has done a course in mentoring or counseling. What wisdom does he/she have?
So, go with the person with grey hair – that is generally a sign of real life experience and taking a lot of stress. Trust him or her.
4 Comments to “Grey mentors … to excel and grow!”
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I agree with your post, but there is so much more to be said of the mentor’s role. Identifying a mentor with a desire to highlight their own brilliance and experience may lead to empty, selfish advise and guidance to a young, eager mentee. A lesson I have learned though a very unpleasant experience in my naive, trusting youth.
Sorry to hear about your bad experience. You make a good point. I never meant to imply that the mentor should highlight their brilliance and experience. Selfishness is not an acceptable characteristic for a mentor, indeed the opposite is imperative.
Hi,
A mentor should be a trusted guide …
A mentor shares knowledge as well as wisdom – a fine line, perhaps, but a crucial distinction. Knowledge can be learned, wisdom must be acquired. Knowledge for me is ‘having the right words’, Wisdom on the other hand is ‘knowing when and how to say the right words – and when to keep to yourself’.
This is just my ‘take’ on mentoring . The more experienced, the better the ‘outcome’.
‘I am made all things to all men, that might by all means save some.’ – Corinthians 9:22
Thanks for the great post! I could not have put it better myself!